Thursday, December 02, 2004

Dec 2 - 6:28AM

Insomnia:

this has been the theme the last few nights. my show goes up again tomorrow night and i'm hoping that's why i feel ill; why my body wont let me sleep; but i think i know that i'm worrying about that in conjunction with the VisionIntoArt show that i'm rehearsing every night for that comes off next wednesday that i still don't know my lines for.

still, this is a good week to remind myself that i'm making my life, my living, as an artist, in work that is meaningful to me and i should be (and am) grateful. there is much to be grateful for this week. there are mended friednships; and for this i cannot be too thankful. there is the show. there is my book (still on deadline and working itself out) and there are people who are supporting me in all these endeavors in a way that humbles me utterly.

my mother turned 63 on tuesday (and tells me with glee someone told her she doesn't look a day over 48 - and what the hell was i laughing at). she is well and i may even get the opportunity to see her over the holiday break.

every day there is more evidence that now is not the time to sorrow; to be vigilant yes, but now is the time for more and more love, for more and more tolerance, for finding our way to more compassion and understanding. already our worst fears about our collective rights and erosion of our way of life are being realized. we will need to build love brick by brick, shore up our alliances and make sure we hold them tight. there are children among us still and being born every day. so Guy, thanks brotherman.

my last posts were all about milwaukee and what transpired there and i want to thank all the folks there who made my time wonderful; most especially my host of hosts and i'm super-duper happy i'll get the chance to repay the favor to her when she comes here in february, at least a little bit - Dasha Kelly. milwaukee re-affirmed my faith in black folk; in the souls of black folk, in that down and dirty thing coming in correct on the timing even when the timing is the one and three because we're responsible for the downbeat, so damn right we break it down and build it back up as we see fit. so thank you to qabena and tiffany and rhonda and bianca lynne and sister monica. milwaukee black folk are buffalo folk; sing up the souls of the plains indians and the middle passage; sing down the swinging bodies and offer up much love. so thanks to kendall and patrice and Dan and the Mecca, Taboo and Panache. cuz church can't always happen on sunday, cuz church was never meant to happen on sunday, cuz we come from a folk who lived church, who lived the meaning of all the things they worshipped, cuz they weren't worshipping -just living; so we still beat down the dust wherever the dust needs beating down; or stirring down, so we dance that and we kiss that and make love to that and all that is church, and this is what saves us, this is what keeps us whole, this struggle is what shows us young and beautiful in the morning; what keeps us looking like brand new when everybody know damn well we been here forever, when everybody know we been raising our children together and today we have to more and more and more, so gather the provisions, gather the guns, gather the love and the guns and the love and the guns and the love and the love and the love and the love and the love...

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